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Originally Posted by allme
I don't know what you posted but hope you're ok

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I'll make a new post after I eat, I'm forcing myself to eat, even though I'm not hungry. I'll try to make one that makes more sense and is not as graphic/violent/triggering. Thank you
Quote:
Originally Posted by IndieVisible
Honestly I think talking it out is a good idea. It does help me. I realize how wrong I can be and also helps to know I am not alone and that many others feel the same way too. If you can't talk about it here and don't have any friends you can talk to about it with them calling you names, then talk to your T if you have one. But trust me, I know the feeling all too well.
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I think so to, I called him and he said I sound like a schizophrenic

I feel that way sometimes, just without the hallucinations. Its like I have a lot of the negative symptoms, maybe this is the "prodromal stage" of psychosis.
At least he talked me out of my impulse to get drunk, my gastrointestinal health is not great, I have a history of alcohol and drug dependency, so what is just having a casual drink to most people could lead to a binge for me. I'm not a nice drunk either, I'm mean and nasty, I get angry at the drop of a hat when I'm drunk. I've done some very foolishly violent things when drinking before.

The VA also warns PTSD sufferers to stay away from alcohol, it can make symptoms worse. I have to ask if it was me or the alcohol who was being abused by it though. I side more towards it being me, I knew it isn't good for you to drink till you throw up, but I would do it anyways. Didn't care about myself at all until recently, yet still my impulsive self-defeating behavior always throws me off the tracks when I'm heading in the right direction.