Wow I can relate to a lot of what you're saying!

I'll be fifty this month and while I have a son who lives with us (he has a MI), he is very independent and doesn't need mothering. My daughter has been on her own for some time.

My husband is a mostly good guy. We have been there for each other through some very hard times. He does all the bills and takes care of things like insurance issues and things of that nature. I really appreciate it, but at the same time it makes me feel like I'm not an adult when I refer everything to him (you'll have to talk to my husband he deals with all that).

I worked my whole life until 2011 when I was hit with a manic episode and my husband pushed me toward disability. All those years when I was working I dreamed of not having to work. Now that I don't have to work I often feel useless. I don't like cooking or housekeeping, but I do both (not as well as I should).

I also dread the thought of my husband retiring! It will be some years before he does but yikes!

In general I have one morning a week now when I do Meals on Wheels ( just started it) which I am enjoying. The rest of the time I spend too much time doing very little and it is bad for me.

Do you know what you might want to do?