So I'm home for the holidays. I don't like saying this, but my family has this nasty habit of making me feel extraordinarily awful. Mostly my stepdad, who winds up drinking a lot - he's drank every day since I've been home. And not just one drink either. He's on "stress leave", approved by his doctor.

Regardless, I'm having a hard time right now and trying very hard to not be miserable or cry or make myself more depressed.

Strange thing is, I just found out today that he's (stepdad) suffers from SAD (seasonal affective disorder) and yet he's been VEHDEMENTLY opposed to psychological help, counselling or medication. And yet he's perfectly fine with taking stress leave because it's under the guise that he's stressed and not depressed.

Excuse me while I scream here now .... AHHHH!!!

Now I'm going to go off and be mopey and ponder why my family's mission is to add to my current stresses and tear me down ...

They've essentially made me feel worthless and stupid ... and then claim to "love me". They don't know the meaning of the phrase. Especially when all I want is the truth, and not to force them to tell me that.



I hate my life, I hate me and I'm really disliking my family. Sorry if I sound self-centred and mean when I should be thankful for my family, but I'd do anything to get away from them... I really would.