Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
Sounds like your "anger" waves can be pretty strong. If you can get so you realize the "anger wave" will subside you can learn go manage it better. I went through a period where the "anger" would just "pop out of me" and took me by surprise. I told my husband to do his best to ignore it because I realized the "only" way I could work on it was "back wards" because it came out before I "consciously" got angry if that makes sense.
I am way better than I used to be. Talk it out if you can, it is better than holding it in.
((Hugs)))
OE
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I have been managing it better, it just hurts to hold my anger in and not acting on my angry impulses. I totally agree I shouldn't have held back as much, but I think I might've violated some community guidelines in my original post and don't want to get kicked out of this site even though it feels like everyone hates me sometimes. When I was sitting at the park my anger did subside, or maybe it didn't? Maybe my anger just turned inwards and since I don't hurt myself so blatantly anymore I find otherwise to sabotage myself. Such as alcohol/drug use or being the only thing standing in the way of opportunities for myself. Even though deep down I know I 'deserve better' part of me still just loves to be miserable.
That makes sense on working on it backwards, coming on here and venting it helped a lot. Getting drunk helped as well, not that I recommend that to anybody. I was either going to get drunk or take a bunch of "knock you the **** out" pills and getting drunk sounded more fun. I also have to tell those around me to ignore my anger and not feed into it because it can escalate beyond anger if they play along too well.
Thanks for the support Open Eyes
