Thanks, Otter63

I'm in the same situation when it comes to paying bills and handling insurance issues. It's not that I can't do it myself, it's that he's a lot more patient when dealing with people, and it became a habit to let him deal with everything.

My younger child has Aspergers Syndrome and still needs me around, and my anger issues make it difficult for me to keep a job anyway, so staying at home is not the problem. At least it wouldn't be, if I could find something fulfilling to do at home, and if I could have some breathing room.

My husband and I are very private, home-oriented types, and he doesn't have friends or hobbies. so all he wants to do during his time off is be at home - which means I have to be at home too, or he mopes and makes me feel guilty. What he fails to take into account is that he has his job and his union activities, so he gets all the social interaction he can handle, but I don't have those outlets. He says he wants me to go out with friends and have fun, but his attitude says something very different.

In the past I tried to get him involved with my social groups, and to say they did not click is a huge understatement. I've lost several friends that way (so I guess it's not always me pushing them away.)

I'm trying yet again to make friends, and the other day he said he wants to be friends with them too, even though he has never met them. I didn't know whether I wanted to punch him or cry! I need space, I need something of my own! I can't even take a bath without him trying to talk to me through the door!

Getting back to your question, though... Not knowing what I want to do has always been a problem for me. When I was a kid I wanted to be a writer or an artist, and I have talent in both areas, but my parents always belittled my talents and one of my sisters, an extremely critical person, told me repeatedly I'd never make any money doing those things. Anything I wanted to do that did not involve becoming a housewife, secretary, or English teacher was, according to them, doomed to fail.

I've tried starting little at-home businesses such as making and selling art dolls, running a small independent publishing house, and starting a book review website that I hoped would generate income from advertising, but apparently my parents and sister were right because even though I received a lot of praise for my abilities, I failed at all of them. Depression, a lack of energy, a lack of people skills, and a thorough inability to market anything kept getting in the way. I just really wish I knew what my purpose in life is, or how to regain my passion and make it work for me.

It's great that you're enjoying working with Meals on Wheels - it sounds like it's good for you as well as for them. Maybe there are similar programs that would be happy to use some more of your free time?