Grieve, it's natural. Cry, if you need to. Better 'out', than 'in'.
We are HUMAN. It HURTS ! We love our lost ones, they are not forgotten, whether it's 20 years, or 2 since they left us.
We remember dates, anniv, and xmas e.t.c.

Let the tears fall. It's grief, it's healing. ~

We miss and love them. We hurt. We're human. ~

A hug, from me.