Quote:
Originally Posted by Teen Idle
I think the best thing to do is understand that OCD is not one thing. I got stuck in thinking that I was just insane because everyone taught me OCD had to do with cleaning, fearing germs, etc. Which is true for a lot of people with OCD. But, OCD is a spectrum. For example; my OCD manifests it's self with intrusive thoughts + rituals to counter those thoughts. My brothers OCD involved skin scratching, so severe he had over three staph infections. OCD is like a finger print. It is different for everyone!
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Yeah, I know you're right but as soon as I try to apply that thought on my own OCD I start doubting it anyway. My OCD, if I understand it correctly, is mostly about this fear about lying/faking/exaggerating and trying to prove that I've been telling the truth by ruminating and recalling past events. That comes and goes in episodes. I also have a lot of compulsions I carry out daily but I'm not sure they're "connected" to any specific intrusive thoughts. I put things in the "right" angles all the time (you should see my desk right now), count things (mostly steps), even things out by touching things until they feel "right", avoid stepping on things which makes me feel uneven etc. I also have a lot of problems when it comes to perfectionism, which makes me do certain things over and over again until it feels "right". Things like that.
Sounds like OCD, right? Well, all I do is keep thinking "what if I don't have it? What if I'm lying? What if I'm pretending that I have to carry out my compulsions? It's not like I get suuuuper anxious if I don't. It'll just feel wrong and like my world is a bit chaotic."
I know I'm going round in circles here.