I, too, have had trouble rethinking the holidays, not just Christmas. When a youngester, I bought into the American traditions of family getting together, Santa Clause for the kids, their excitement on Christmas morning and especially the song, "over the hills and through the woods to Grandmother's house we go." It didn't work out that way, and FINALLY, this year, I've let it go. My oldest son, my Rock, and his family will be the only child I see this year. It's been that way for a while. His wife and I talked and I told her it was alright if we didn't have Christmas Dinner as such. To me, Christmas Day was pretty much over around noon or so. We don't get together with them until 4 or 5 pm. This year is the first year that IT'S OKAY. One child, the best of the best, and his wonderful family will satisfy that spiritual need this year. It has for a long time. I've just come to realize it now.

A new tradition that I want to start is to deliver baked goods to my neighbors and acquaintances in my neighborhood on Christmas Eve. I didn't make it this year because of physical reasons, but Lord willing, if I'm around next year, I'll try again. There were at least 20 plates of goodies and home made cards. There will probably be more next year. I'll know to start earlier.

However, the "magic of Christmas" for me has turned more and more to the miracle birth of our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. Of course, my mind carries me through his life, death and resurrection. I carry that with me throughout the year.

If DH gets off work on time tonight, we'll attend a Christmas Eve service somewhere. I've still to find a church that has a program that will satisfy my spiritual needs in that area. If not, then DH and I will listen to Christian Christmas carols and have a time of meditation on the miracle that happened so long ago.

Blessings to you, Perna.