Welp, OMRMC, thanks for making me bawl my eyes out and trust me when I say, I don't cry. It's surprising how similar your situation is to mine and it really made me realize that I'm not as " just ok" as I pretend to be. I don't even think I can slightly suggest anything for you to do to improve your current state or I'd be a hypocrite. But I can say that, the fact that you were able to take a walk is great and is progress, even though its little it should be celebrated. Anyway, if your able to miraculously find a solution be sure to let me know.