I'm constantly in pain. I don't know if it's from depression or something else anymore. I know it can manifest physically, but does it really hurt this much?

I'm under so much stress right now. I keep feeling like I'm going to be crushed under the pressure. I tried to sleep. I spent an hour tossing and turning and hearing things that were't even really there. I didn't even know it had been an hour. It felt like five minutes. But when I checked the time, it had definitely been an hour.

I can't stop thinking. I can never stop thinking. Sometimes I want my thoughts to just cease to be. I think that, maybe, then I'd be blissfully at peace.

I tried to find a clinic nearby that would see me for free or on a sliding scale. Closest is 45 minutes away. I feel hopeless. Completely destroyed, helpless, and hopeless.

I just want the depression to stop. I want the loneliness to stop. I want the thoughts to stop. What they say is true. Sometimes the loudest screams really are the quietest ones.