I had a friend in college who was in this sort of triangle twice, where he and another guy were interested in the same woman. The first time, he chose to tell the guy how he felt. The guy chose to date the woman. My friend was all sorts of furious, but because he had his say, at least he wasn't jealous. The guys are still friends to this day. The woman isn't in the circle anymore as far as I know.

The second time, he chose to tell both the woman and the guy. The woman and guy chose to date. No bueno. A couple weeks later I saw my friend "man slap" the other guy over the head. It's not so much assault as a cartoon violence. Mad, sad, hurt, yes. Jealous. Not really, he had his say.

As the person who had to be the proverbial shoulder for his friend, I learned that if you look the problem in the face, at least you know you did the best you could for yourself. Jealously can be really passive-aggressive. You can't control other people, but you can look out for your own emotional health. Sending the fellow Californian an empathy hug.