Hi everyone, Hope you are all well. This is my first post here I just wanted to see if anyone else is dealing with a similar thing, Sorry if this is under the wrong topic. It's an emotional thing so I figured it'd be best suited here.

So long story short, I am a 26 year old female, who works full time in finance, and I live with my long term boyfriend.

I started having depression and anxiety issues when I was around 15 or 16, I went on anti depressants at aged 19 and then things started to take off in my life a little. Ive always been a very creative minded deep thinking person, never really known what I want from life and never been too bothered about that so long as I am happy enough with who I am inside.

I moved away from my home, and mum and dad (who I was very close to) and moved across the country to live with my partner 2 years ago. Since then I have got a decent job and i love our flat, I also have LOTS of friends but they are all very different types of people to me. I feel like moving to an area that is so far removed from who I am has completley changed me. I no longer feel deeply about anything, I dont remember when I last wrote, or painted anything. My diet is awful, (generally busy and no longer vegetarian so lots of red meat ) I feel like I look completley different to who I am, Ive put weight on, my hair is different, even my style. and Ive changed so much because I think i wanted to fit in with the people here but now I can't remember who I used to be if that makes sense.

I feel totally disconnected from myself and I can't talk to my boyfriend about it really because even though he loves me obviously he isn't much of a deep thinker and might not understand what I mean. BTW, it has never bothered me that he isnt a deep person, I love him for him and am happy with the relationship im just having some internal struggles right now

I go out drinking with my friends at least once a week and although I dont drink through out the working week, when it comes to the weekend I seem to spend all my money getting drunk and I just feel depressed the day after, but I can't seem to break the cycle. My diet, my style, my social life, everything has changed and I really want to rediscover myself but I am scared of whats happening to me

Sorry if this was long and boring, can anyone offer any help, or understanding??

thanks much love xoxox