Good topic. I think I am only just begining to see that when growing up, there weren't no boundaries, only strict rules. But personal boundaries? Nope didn't know about them. I see now that my mothers inner world was leaking out off her and it was my job to fix it for her. So my inner world got neglected. Infact I had no idea it even existed as my mothers enveloped the whole family.

Only yesterday I caught myself trying to "fix" everybody. Making sure their inner worlds were ok, forgetting that this isn't my job. I feel guilty that its my inner world that really comes first for me. I feel as if I am letting everyone down if I take care off myself. But I also understand a bit more now, that when and if I take care of my inner world I am a much better person to be with.

I can feel the anger and resentment in me as I neglect myself and put others first and that is my first step in understanding better now how "it" works.

I still am confused though as to how much I should allow my children to deal with their inner world and how much I should take care off me over them. I haven't quite worked that one out yet. I do find myself stopping and thinking now before I am jump into rescue them (ages twins, 13 and son 18)

It hurts to do the right thing at times but then again, it hurts to do the wrong thing too :-(