Wow! Amazingly awful therapists! It would be really hard to pursue that path after such bad experiences.

It sounds like you feel really trapped. I know that feeling.

My husband got ugly, stupid drunk last night. Listened to him making all kinds of weird sounds till 4am. I was glad he managed to barf in the toilet and not on the rug. Pretty disgusted with him right now.

He gets very loud and yells at the neighbors and gets arrested. He apologizes, but between my bipolar behavior and his drunkenness, I feel pretty embarrassed in the neighborhood.

I too have trouble with making/keeping friends. My husband doesn't have friends. I do have one friend and my sisters. I think I also push people away.

I know no one has a perfect life, but I wouldn't mind having more normal problems.