My husband is also sensitive, but about 2 years ago I decided I needed to be more open about things or else risk being 'annoyed' for the rest of my life. The first talk was very general about wanting more intimacy, and things gradually got more specific. For one Christmas I bought some his and her books on sexual techniques. Having both types of books allowed me to say that I wanted both of us to become better/more adventurous lovers. There were no accusations that he was the one that needed to change. In addition, we brought a good deal of humor with us into the bedroom. Sometimes things don't feel as good as you think they will and it's become ok for both of us to say something like, "I see you're really trying, but it's just not doing it for me." After some chuckling, it's time to try something else. This type of thing did take a while to develop, but it's been really great to be able to laugh about sex.

Actually, around the time of our first talk, there was a school news letter sent to parents warning them that porn could be accessed on youtube. Naturally I checked it out and later showed my husband, and that started some really interesting talks! It sort of opened the door a little more to talk about what people liked, what they didn't, do people really do that stuff, do you want to give it a try, let's buy some toys and check it out!

I don't want to make it sound easy because I have been reserved about sex my whole life and I was so nervous and uncomfortable the first time I discussed these issues with my husband. It's only been in the last two years that things have greatly improved.

So, I know you said you've talked to him, but perhaps talking about things in general first and not criticizing him might be a good way to start.

One other thing--I am also very uncomfortable thinking that my kids could hear us. They are teens now and often go to bed later than us. My husband and I now try to make dates during the day. He takes off from work and comes home for a few hours. No kids means we can go to any part of the house and be as noisy as we like. Of course, he then has to work late, but it's definitely worth it.

I hope I haven't made things sound too easy or perfect because they are not. However, once we got over the initial talks, things are and continue to improve.

Sorry if any of this offends or is not helpful in any way.