I failed my first physics test of the semester. And it wasn't even a surprise fail, I KNOW I failed because I had no idea what the f I was doing the entire test.

Homework is piling up because I lack the motivation to sit down and do it. I'm trying a little at a time but it's nowhere near enough, especially with me getting a cold on top of everything.

I suppose the good news is I haven't purged -yet. I've been freaking out over my weight recently and skipping meals but I now I can't skip too many or I'll loose my chest - something I can't do if I'm going to be cosplaying as Rogue the end of the month. I know I can't keep going n like that, and I'd been doing so well...

Today I talked with one of the brothers in my fraternity about our various mental health issues. It was very triggering, especially when we for some reason went into detail about SI - something we've apparently both done.

I don't know, all the stress, feeling worthless and then getting triggered like that. It was too much. I suppose I didn't have a reason other than talking about it so openly before, but I just HAD to SI. It was like I couldn't stop myself. Now I just feel more guilty because I failed myself again.