Hi all

So I have my mother-in-law from Ireland coming tomorrow and staying for 3 days and I am dreading it. She is lovely and everything but I always act around her and it's exhausting! If she starts a conversation with me I get twitches in my eyes and mouth and know it's obvious I am some kind of nervous freak! I hardly see her and with such long gaps in seeing her, it feels as though I am meeting her for the first time every time.

Ok so here is the thing, and I am deeply shamed by what I did, but when his father came to stay with us the same thing happened...I kept an act up and it tired me so badly. Anyway, he made a comment about this paedophile trial, something along the lines of it happened ages ago so what's the fuss....I must point out he says I took it out of context but anyway, in the middle of the night I went crazy, dragged my husband out of bed and demanded he question his dad and so he got his dad up while I was screaming and shouting in the living room telling him he should leave. It was a disaster and was only 3 or 4 months ago. What is something similar happens and I take something else out of context? Or how will I keep up a goody two shoes act for 3 days with her under my roof. It will burn me out for sure.

Don't know how I am going to cope Or what will come out of my stupid mouth! This is why I should stay away from ppl, nothing good comes out of mixing with ppl for me.

I mean it when I say, I am just not good enough for anyone really. I severely lack in so many ways. When I think about myself, all I see is bad. And I know others can see it too. I just want to be left alone but I don't at the same time, I don't want to be lonely. It's all so confusing.