Quote:
Originally Posted by casurfer
I know it's hard, I've gone up and down and been conflicted in my marriage for a long time.... I sometimes think I may be co-dependent....
In the end, I really know she's right for me... but my mood swings come from the fact that I worry that I may not be right for her.... it's like she has all the power in the relationship because I feel like I need her more than she needs me. Does that even make sense? Intimacy has been an issue because I am more needy in that way than she is, so that's where my conflicts come from. We met very young and have been together for more than half our lives together now... so I can't imaging being with anyone else... but since I feel like I am chasing all of the time, I wonder if someday she'll bail... even though logically I know it's unlikely, it's a crazy feeling.
So to deal with it, I work out... that helps me a lot! I get perspective and it gets all of the endorphins going... stay away from alcohol and recreational drugs, there is no help there ever..
If you are young, I think that you should try to date other guys.... there are plenty of men out there.... maybe someone else is a better fit... if not, you can always get back together with your first BF. My next door neighbors dated in college, broke up, then got together at 35, and have been married for 12 years now happily, so it does happen!
|
i feel like i'm co-dependent, too. at least, every time i make him really happy i get happy. when i disappoint him or make him angry, i get so sad he ends up having to comfort me, even though he's the one who should be upset. i understand what you're saying about your wife, it feels the opposite here. he's so sure i'm the girl of his dreams; he's dated like 10 or something girls before me, whereas i have no dating experience. i had been using alcohol or weed occasionally when i felt all depressed, so i guess i need to hop on the exercise train and try that. that's good advice, so thank you. i am young, but i do not want to date other guys, and my boyfriend has stated that once we break up, we are done for good. he does not want to be just friends with me, and will not want any contact, and has said that he does not date someone after breaking up with them. so i am aware that it happens, but it won't in this case :\