I felt really bad a few hours ago that I couldn't even come here to post.

I constanly have identity problems. I can't recognize if this is me or I'm another alter. The differences between an alter or I being in control are now gone. I can't realize if I'm writing this or it's another alter.

Perhaps I don't have any alters at all and I just have another thing... Only thinking about alters make me feel overwhelmed and tired.

I could listen two people/alters talking to me last night. I don't know if this is starting to borderline psychosis or I may be schizophrenic, because my mother definitely has schizophrenia or some other psychotic disorder and my father has bipolar disorder. Both disorders are likely to be inherited so...

I can't see a psychiatrist. I'm not allowed to. Remember I'm underage, and here you need your parents to see a doctor.
Since Spain became a poor country, they fired all the psychiatrists from ERs. Now there are only psychiatrist at hospitals. And they closed the hospital in my town. So my only chance is to really harm myself and go to the ER to later be sent to an hospital and see a psychiatrist.

If you go to an ER talking about suicidal thoughts but you don't have any physical damnage, they will refer you to the hospital's (it's ~30 min. by car from here) psychiatrist, hence I will need my parents.

But if it's a physical emergency, I wouldn't need them...

I hope you understood.
Hugs,
Toim