((((((canders))))) you don\'t sound self-centered or selfish at all. You sound like someone who just wants their family to understand and respect them. I really do hate to hear that you are hurting as you are, but trust me when i say that i understand your pain, maybe not in exactly the same way, but i DO understand. And sometimes parents don\'t understand the significance of their actions, and they seem like they'\re in their own world ... but these are the times when you have to look to others in your life for strength. You know that saying "you can't pick your parents but you can pick your friends" or something like that, well its true. Christmas is a really hard time of year so it is also the time to turn to those that you do trust, and it is those people that you can let yourself become vulnurable to. I know its hard, and its not going to "fix" things, but it might help to make things a little more bearable. -ps I can be one of those people for you if you so choose -

Thinking of ya,
Take good care
Jacq