some might say 'life' beyond rejection!

others still, ... they might say 'death' beyond rejection...

and the stupendous marvellous ridiculous insidious demonic pain about this borderline business?

I am alive and dead at the same time and I still got rejected and I will continue to be because of this incredible affliction!

what an emotional death-threat from the inside designed to interfere with everything I do on the outside...
it's not an excuse to die it's an excuse not to live so I am trapped in the middle....

and the only reason I survive is because I am a die-hard borderline thru and thru!

what that means is that I cannot entirely blame others this late in the game... sure I was damaged and I coulda' gone then and there but that was not good enough for me...

so I decided to live... and didn't realise I took a hellfight attitude with me!

and so back to the start....

I have inside me a serious urge to live and to die simultaneously.
welcome bipolar you are late!!

what a complicated human is the borderline human..
but with characteristics so obvious as opposed to secretive...

I absolutely adore others like me so I must like myself at least more than I presume others hate me