I would happily watch my father being hit by a train. I would not look away. If it was legal I would push him myself.

I guess it's safe to say that I hate him.
Once I got really close to killing the ****er when I was a kid.

Since it's beyond triggering (for me) I shall not go into details about why. Suffice to say, I do not have one single good memory from my childhood and young adulthood - while I was forced to live under his roof and under his rule - and he left me annihilated and internally disfigured, unable to lead a happy and sustainably successful life or form and maintain a healthy relationship.

Since I cannot legally revenge the obliteration of the once innocent "me", my only hope is some "magical" justice; karma, "what goes around, comes around" or whatever. In other words, I hope he rots in hell.

Yes, such hatred does make me a bad person.

Tough.