I've always protected my true feelings from being known by laughing and joking with everyone else, but then I found that no-one believed me. It's taken me a long time to trust and open up to my pdoc and have him believe what I say. The only time I wasn't smiling while depressed was the summer I was catatonic with depression. The rest of the time most people wouldn't believe I am depressed (schizoaffective). It is what it is, I guess.

*Willow*