I’m really happy that I stumbled on this. I feel like if we had a conversation together, it could be a fruitful one.

First, let me just say this, most people (not to offend anyone on this site) will just provide you with blanket statements and won’t be able to offer you much true insight to your situation. They are still kind for trying to help, but when relationships are so easy to come by for everyone else, the outsider tends to assume that YOU’RE doing something “wrong”. Maybe there are things that you could improve, such as confidence and approaching people, but personalizing this predicament will only lead to self-resentment (easier said than done, I know. I struggle with this myself).

Though our situations are a bit different, I can totally feel you on this. I have had horrible luck finding a relationship since I transfered to my college two years ago. Even when I think things are going well with someone, it always seems to fall apart and they go for some one else. It’s frustrating and has led to self-worth issues. Lately, the men I have had past sexual and/or emotional connections with don’t even want to have sex with me. It confuses me because I’m constantly told that I am gorgeous, funny, sexy, highly intelligent, passionate, interesting, and a good writer. I’ve super involved in my community and have tons of friends and still no one I like seems to like me back for very long. I get very frustrated with the “there are more fish in the sea” or the “you just need to lower your standards” remarks. I feel like no one understands how incredibly irritating and complicated this is and wish people would understand that there is nothing I can do to change this. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m intimidating and intense to men, and most men my age are scared of me. Its hurtful, but accepting this about myself has given me a more positive outlook on my future.

Please try not to think of women as one big entity. We’re all different people. There is no “game” to crack our code and make us like you. I avoid men who act like this because it’s insulting. Besides, it will help you to think “the women I’ve encountered in limited social settings don’t like me” instead of “women in general don’t like me”.

There are tons of different things in life to be successful in. Though it hurts that you’ve been unsuccessful in this area, you certainly haven’t “failed” at life.

I don’t think its bad to have a drink or two to calm the nerves, but I am concerned that you’re trying to go to parties to meet women to have sex with. It’s very unethical to take advantage of drunk girls. One or two drinks is one thing, but if a girl is drunk, she can’t give consent and that is rape. In fact, in my state, it is illegal to have sex with someone who is intoxicated and you can withdraw your consent and press charges against someone for such activity. Besides, do you want your first time to be when you are both drunk? I’m not saying you’re a bad person, but I am concerned that the issues here could lead you to make some poor life choices. You have to accept you and your life for what it is, not take desperate means to change it.

Feel free to personal message me if you’d like someone to talk to. Good luck!