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Old Dec 25, 2006, 12:29 PM
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Perna Perna is offline
Pandita-in-training
 
Member Since: Sep 2006
Location: Maryland
Posts: 27,289
Yes, I think almost anyone who has been hurt in some way has thoughts of hurting back or hurting someone "weaker," etc. as a way of "understanding" and controlling the way one feels/felt and earlier situations.

I worked with/for (I was part-time) a woman and her boss would yell at her and she'd come in and yell at me and then apologize much later but I told her it was fine if she treated me like the "dog" (as in going home and kicking the dog because you can't kick your boss) since I had nothing at stake working for the company, was only part-time and didn't have to work, etc., didn't like many of the people so I didn't take things seriously/personally. I both understood when she yelled at me that it wasn't "about" me and I also felt superior and/or literally didn't care so I was happy to be helpful if I could give her a relief valve of sorts (as I liked her okay).

When one is a young child there aren't a whole lot of ways/means to cope yet because one hasn't learned them which is why when you get older things don't work anymore; one is physically older but only has "primitive" ways of dealing with impossible situations and once one gets to be a certain age, the situations get broader and people differently motivated but the abused person gets "stuck." The "natural" hurt-back impulse and the learned, hurt smaller/younger/weaker than you are, would be about all one consistently abused when younger would have/know?
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