Just sounds like more abuse and manipulation to me. A great "opportunity" to weaken your self esteem and also make you more dependant on him. You couldn't survive without him! That's his overall goal, to make you believe that.

While you are planning what to do about your situation, please consider strongly that this behaviour is very very often passed down to children. It would be a good bet that his father was like that. It would be very good for you to think about this as "breaking the cycle" for your children. Teach them not to accept such behavior, rather than teaching them that that's the way to get what you want from people.

I would definitely recommend therapy for the children as well as yourself when this can be resolved.

Good luck.

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