And, Mouse, I find it's so easy to get my thoughts about their inner mixed up with their actual inner! I like being rescued but (a) may not need to be (b) they may not need to be (c) they may not want to be (d) they may want to be but may not need to be, etc.

I was extremely fortunate in my choice of husband :-) I am able to explain things to him better (he's an excellent listener) and also try things out. I was raised to give the "man" the larger piece of meat (or anything else) at dinner, for example, and sometimes it makes me anxious because I'll want the larger for myself or they're only very slightly different but I can tell and I take the larger one and feel like if I'm found out I'll get in "trouble," stuff like that. So I told this whole thing to my husband and we both laughed at the ridiculousness of the situation/feelings and I deliberately took the larger piece for myself with his knowledge, encouragement and us talking about it at the time and still felt anxious! But the whole scenario was very helpful in getting me to understand it's not "me." And, not everything I think is a problem is a problem at all. Just because we've been "trained"/taught one way doesn't mean that is the "right" or only way.

My husband and I had the conversation about replacing the toilet paper when it runs out (when you use the last piece) versus next time you come into the bathroom if the roll is empty. I was taught to "be nice to the next guy" and replace it right then, when it first becomes empty, but my husband never does (or with paper towels or anything else). He finally took me through the "mathematics" of our 2-person household and the probability of it running out on you versus you being the "next" person to need it. They're the same! There's no point in being nice to the "next" person because there's an equal chance that you'll be next and/or, there's no contest or "test" of any sort, it's just preference, not a rule or good behavior or anything like that. Sure you want to make sure there's a roll of toilet paper there if you're having guests over but otherwise you can do what anyone likes. If you like replacing it a certain time you do but that doesn't make other people who do it/think differently "wrong" or morally bad! It's the little things like that that hang me up and that I overlook. I think someone is "abusing" me or stepping over my boundaries, etc. and it's just my warped way of looking at things, the way my anxious/controlling stepmother taught me, the only way I "know" so I think the only way there "is."