Hi Chris! Welcome to PC.

Suicidal thoughts are an important symptom of depression. Make sure Samina is aware of what your thinking so that she can make the right recommendations. As for whether you are bipolar... well that's physiologically based and requires treatment. Another possibility based on what's going on in your life right now is what's called "situational depression". I know there's not much you can do about your situation, but therapy and/or medication might make it survivable for you.

Try to get some help before you spiral down into the depths of major depression. The longer and deeper you allow yourself to be depressed, the longer and more difficult it becomes to recover. The fact that you have periods where you still feel like your not depressed is a good thing. But it doesn't mean you shouldn't get help yet. Now is the best time.

Good luck! And keep posting here on PC! We're here for you.

P.S. PM stands for personal message and most people who post here are available to talk to privately if you want to.