I know how you're feeling. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 with rapid cycling and the rapid changes can be horrible, leaving you feeling like you have no control over anything. I promise though with time and especially the right meds and therapy it will get easier. As time goes on you'll learn some of your triggers and ways to help cope as well. Just remember you aren't alone in this and in my experience on this site, there are always people willing to help which also makes it easier. Best of luck hun *hugs*