When I was first diagnosed with depression, I was seeing my doctor for painful, inflamed joints in my feet. I also brought up a test I had done via a medical insurance website that suggested I might be depressed. To me, this was the 2nd or 3rd concern of my visit. My doctor, after evaluating my feet, deciding it was osteo arthritis, suddenly went out and brought back a 9 question test for me to fill out, and with it's completion, proclaimed I had MDD - moderate. I felt very upset in the moment, resulting in tears I could not hold back. He suggested both medication and therapy. I was stunned, not having anticipated this response, nor having thought about treatment options. I just wanted my feet to get better and quit hurting. He suggested that treating the depression would improve the foot pain.

This didn't make sense to me, but I accepted the Rx and referral for therapy. I was under a lot of stress at the time from a combination of personal issues, work stress, falsely accused legal issue (later dismissed), family health crisis (mother broke pelvis) and knew I needed help to cope. Therapy appointments were not available until 7 weeks away, so I got the meds, but did not start taking them until after a week of thinking about it and researching it. 10 mg. of fluoxetine per day made me very drowsy, mildly nauseated and gave me diarrhea. It also dulled the stressful feelings and anxiety, though I stayed at that dose for awhile due to the side effects.

Going to 20 mg. fluoxetine and therapy appointments that were quite spread out, I worked through the issues as best I could, learning all I could about depression from books, websites, a group class on CBT. Periodic tests continue to show mild to moderate MDD with two years of treatment. Having made it through a layoff 6 months after diagnosis, 12 months of unemployment, and a new, stressful sales job, I'm now going for an appointment with a rheumatologist to see if there is something more than osteoarthritis going on.

My feet hurt every day, worse when I walk for excercise, as well as flare ups in multiple joints more often than I want to admit. I'm concerned about my frequent use of OTC NSAIDS, potential interactions with migraine meds, continued memory and concentration issues.

It scares me to think of having RA or another form of rheumatological disease, but this is not getting better, so if it is only OA, fine. I just want to know what I'm dealing with so I can focus on caring for it the best way possible. I'm also afraid a diagnosis will not be simple, sure or quick, and I'll loose my current job and insurance before I get it taken care of, or in the middle of trying to treat it.

This stuff triggers some depressive thoughts and feelings, but I know I have to keep going. At times I wonder if the depression is a symptom of the joint pain, migraines, and complex sleep apnea, or independently making the other conditions seem worse.

I'm sure I'm not the only one dealing with complex issues like this, and writing it out helps me see the progress I've made, while at the same time, triggering depression. Sometimes the only way out is through.

Sorry this was so long, and thanks for listening.