well, I kind of did it myself, thinking I was doing ok. I am still not comfortable with my diagnosis, I guess. But everytime I go off my meds, I end up worse off, an then say I won't do it again, but always I think I am strong enough and not bi-polar, but i am supposed to see the doc on the 5th of January. I have been crying all day, my kids hurt my feelings by not coming or calling (only 2 did) and didn't get to see any of my six grandchildren, so all in all it has been a bad day and now I have been thinking that it all isn't worth it, next year -no tree, no going through the trouble of knitting and quilting all the homemade gifts, no lights, and then I think I wouldn't expect anything, you know? Thank you for answering me back. Does this forum have the place to set it so I will have email notification of replies to a thread I am watching?