Quote:
Originally Posted by dub_phantom
I definitely should clarify that I DO NOT want drugs. I feel that these things are parts of me, and as long as I stay like I am now it's all manageable. I guess I used the wrong term, when I said pdoc I really meant a therapist, I'm scared to talk to one while in the navy but I thought it might help as I transition to talk to someone that sees people with these problems regularly that had some ideas on how to keep it in check. I'm a bit scared, I must admit, of the concept of turning manic, I'm doing so good right now I really don't want to wreck my life again.
I also have a difficult time discerning things as actual or passing interests when I'm in a hyped up mood. It's just like... my mind goes so fast I have to lock on to something, so whatever catches my interest at the time and I suddenly feel that I am the best in the entire world at that thing - even if I know little to nothing about it. I throw myself into it entirely, forgetting to sleep, eat, ignore my phone and so on. I can't tell you exactly what I'm thinking, it's a bit hazy looking back. It's only these times that concern me, at times I'll sink into depression but I don't have serious suicidal thoughts it just gets me down for a while. Definitely manageable. I guess realistically I just need to come up with a system to keep it in check, because I don't feel that these things are negatives. I don't want to be like other people. I like being different, I feel that all of this makes me who I am. I just want a system of checks in place to keep me from crossing that line. And thankfully that's what all of you are giving me, so thanks! I really do appreciate the advice from people that understand where I'm coming from.
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It makes me happy you said that, that you think these things are just a part of which makes you who you are. Because I feel the same. For awhile, I thought it was just such a normal thing for me to act weird sometimes, it's only when some relationships became strained/ended (and when the restlessness and depression got too hard to handle) that I realized I probably needed help, though I didn't know to what extent. But it's important to already have such an acceptance of yourself now. Some people have hated themselves because they feel like they're broken, and it only makes things worse for them. What helped me with the fear about therapy/mental health and everything in between is doing a lot of research. Perhaps looking into the best therapy options gor a person in your situation could help ease the nervousness? 'Cause I think you'll greatly benefit from therapy. I've found some tools tailored only for me from seeing a therapist for only a few months.
For now while you're still deciding, research and writing reminders, thoughts, buying a bunch
of post-its and having a giant white-board calendar is what helps me. I looked into what my triggers are (caffeine can get me hypomanic, for example) and having a regimen (like exercise) to add in more stability helps a lot too. Once again, good luck!
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