When you have been doing it for so long it is nature to you and you wonder how others don't naturally do it like you do. (not that you want people to do what you do and go through what you go through...but it's hard to see holding down your food as something normal when this comes so much more normal than anything else does.)

Also, when you have your binge and purge down to such a science that you know what food to binge on for the easiest purge and you can time your binge and purge before you even do it so you can make sure you are not late to whatever normal life event you have to go to until your next binge and purge.