Hey,

I can relate to this completely. Especially:
"My problem is that I am so much more critical of myself than anyone else."

What's funny is like you mentioned, we KNOW this is wrong thinking , but can't just seem to 'snap out of it'. Why we do this to ourselves, I'm not sure...I think (related to the trauma) we've become conditioned to tell ourselves that we are less than and undeserving. This has become our default mindset. We are trapped in self-doubt which was created by fear. Then it's a constant loop playing over and over in our minds until we actually perceive it as a fact. I can reassure you this is not the case, it's merely perception not a fact. We know this...some days we just have to ride the wave of feelings I guess.

And you know, some days my relaxation and meditation practices don't make a difference AT ALL. My head is stuck in a cyclical loop of negativity, anger and self-doubt. Everything gets under my skin and every time I try to change my thinking it just goes back there. I guess I don't have much for advice, but I can relate to your feelings. So at least you can know you're not alone in them if that's any help at all.