I hear you about the shelter system! Plus something, I actually learned, was that most of them are used up by displaced families, not so much from domestic issues, but from things like fires natural disasters. Good for you, for looking around for employment, et al.

I used to be scared about the 'finding' out of every little movement. At some point, all these 'friends' of theirs will grow tired of it. As though, they don't have their own personal struggles, etc.

It's a positive, these kids aren't his! That alleviates, some of the 'stuck' that I worried you may have been in, in the first place.

My personal take on the 'system', that is supposed to help victims of abuse, is that they would rather see a person go from victimized mentality to one of survivor, then, for some reason, it seems like help becomes available, as you recognize, just what it is that you need for assistance.

Restraining orders are difficult, without witnesses. Or a broken bone, but broken bones, are best exposed to a cop, as soon as it occurs. No waiting until the next day, if they can come to your home, the better it is to get these things to hold up.

My exh, even three years after divorce, upon discovering that I was in a newly formed relationship, went ape! Yes, I can relate to the if I can't have you, no one can mentality. He doesn't threaten my kids, like yours does, they are his. Instead his verbal manipulation tactics have bordered on threatening to have me incarcerated for abandonment, when I went on a recent vacation and left my kids, in state, with my father, their grandparents for the week. Said, any guy I brought into his kids life would be sent off this planet in a body bag. I even, once asked, so, what if I were to date a lawyer or a doctor? Reply was No, over his dead body, and followed by, as if you'd ever get one of those. (should have seen the hotties surrounding me, in the courthouse the day of my extended restraining order hearing. Know how vindicating that was, for him to see me, sitting between a couple of rather attractive men? hmphh!!)

How tough are you?! If he came after you, physically, can you run outside? Can you withstand, just enough? I mean, if he runs after you with a knife, run faster?! I withstood, a serious twisting of my arm, literally, he was grabbing a digital recorder from my hands, and I wasn't letting go for dear life, and I ended up with eye witnesses as I was pulled from my car. Yeah...decided to jump in front of my car, as I was pulling out of my parking lot! I endured some pain, but wow, two men and a woman showed up! I screamed and screamed, because gosh darn it all, it was scary, but I am not about to be bullied and harassed and let this man, if you can call him that, dictate how the rest of my life can go!

Your post, sounds like you are planning an exit! And for that, I am proud of you!!