"situational depression" seems partially responsible for your mindscape. I, too, grew up with an alcoholic and verbally explosive parent. With all the normal adjustments you are going through as you traverse your adolescence, the last thing you deserve is a loud-mouth obnoxious and psychologically aggressive parental unit interfering with your peace of mind. Square your shoulders and persevere in spite of his madness. Talk those suicidal notions out with your support system and make strides to broaden that support network. As has been mentioned, you'll find alot of "quality people" here . I know I have.
Post. Journal. Doodle. Trap those negative thoughts on the page. It lessens their power! You're 17... in a couple of years you'll be calling your own shots and you will not be subjected to the mental trauma this man projects that is none of yours to own.

You Rock. Never Forget That. You Can Do Anything.

Peace and Strength to You. Have Fun Be Safe.

-Breezer