I'm an extremely internally focused person. I'm smart, ambitious, creative...but no one knows this and I can't do anything to help anyone because I spend 90% of my time daydreaming. I have ideas for projects-novels, organizations, etc. but I can't bring ANY of it to completion. My grades are crap because I can't remember to study until the day of the exam. Every semester, I make plans to study everyday, do all the readings...and it never works out. It doesn't matter how badly I want it, it doesn't matter how hard I try...all my progress is wiped away the moment I turn a blind eye, do what is natural for me, and turn my attention inward...before I know it, HOURS, DAYS, and MONTHS have passed.

I've tried therapy; absolutely no help. I've tried brute force, which worked in high school until I hit a really bad depression. I need to be an acheiver, a person who gets things done in the world. That is the reason why I was born. I hate the person that I am. I hate being trapped in my mind.

I think that this is the result of having untreated ADHD, but there is nothing I can do about it. I can't take stimulants because I have a history of seizure disorder...

Please help.