hi,
i am real concerned for you. it sounds like you are blaming your wife on your reason for the need to escape. it's of course probably a contributor but really you may need to examine yourself. is the things your wife complains about, legimate concerns? have you really stopped and listen to her? remember in marriage it takes both in order for it to work. maybe you may need to seek outside help and include your wife. maybe marriage counseling? i know it is hard, but seeking outside affection right now; only makes things worse. trust me.
gwen