I feel crappy. I wasn't originally bothered by it, but it's now something that's crawling around in the deepest chasms of my mind: an ex of mine, is now pregnant. I laughed when I found out. I don't much care for her nor her nonsense; we had a thing a good few years ago. It's just, ... it's a reminder of how old I now am, and that, right now, I don't feel like I have much. Can anyone relate to that?

The other thing, is that I'm single - this isn't a cry me a river moment, don't worry. I don't actually know what to say, exactly - maybe someone can relate to my ramblings, so as to give it some worth. I went through some stuff a while back, and, piling that on-top of other things, I just don't have any confidence in the idea of a relationship, nor the strength or courage to get kicked in the nut-suck, again. I feel muffled by fear, apprehension, familiarity, and solitude; these things, strongly go against the loneliness and longing for purpose, that I can't deny I sometimes feel. Does anyone relate to all this?

I say that I'm just trying to sort other areas of my life out, and work on myself, but I think that's just a facade, to cover-up the fear. It's not exactly very masculine, to say: "I'm scared to be in-love and vulnerable, again."

I'd probably not post this anywhere but here, because, I feel like people here would/could actually understand. I imagine the response I'd get from your average Joe, would be: "Suck it up." or "Crap happens - there's plenty more fish in the sea." or other entirely unhelpful anecdotes.

I'm sure I'll forget about this, and go back to my bubble of denial, but right now, there's a leak, and my special brand of Denial Air, is escaping.