Quote:
Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006
I can't emphasize enough that assuming he knows where your lines are drawn for privacy is only going to cause problems. There is no way around it, you have to communicate to him about this and I don't care how painful it is, you must voice this and let him know. A few things will happen. 1. you put the ball in his court and if he does this again, he knows full well how you feel about it and he'll have no excuse. 2. If he doesn't know now, you can move on and forgive him for not knowing and he can do something about it and try to acommodate your needs by being more careful of what he shares - without knowing, there is no way he can meet your expectations.
No bf can know what it is you want and expect blindly. he can't read your mind and you can't read his. So many misunderstandings, arguments and fights could be avoided in relationships if people just spoke up and said what they expect.
In all of this I do not minimize the difficulty you may have in doing so. i know it's hard but this is your life, this is your relationship with him and if you don't do everything you can to give it the best chance for success, you're asking for it to fail and at best continue to have problems.
I don't mean to get on a soap box here but I just really want to see you stand up for yourself in this. I know what it's like to go on and on with someone being afriad to speak up and it never gets better til you do.
Much luck with this *hugs*
S4
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Thanks, I do need to speak up. I know that. The truth is he has known me long enough to know better. It has been him who over time has told everyone. Some people did need to be told - my parents mainly. My friends too. He speaks to someone about it at work, I get that he needs someone to talk to though. But then he told my ex, people we walk the dog with a few more of his friends.
Will it ever end??
I think he feels it's fine because he has at least told me that he told them. But he always tells me afterwards when I don't have any say in it at all. And then I have to get over the initial seeing that person knowing they will look at me differently from now on.
I think I will talk to him when I get home. Otherwise its going to keep eating away at me and it is going to keep on happening until the whole ****ing world knows it!!