'falling in love with who I think he is, rather than who he actually is' was a key issue with my problematic relationships. (all - haha)

An excitement, a high, putting him into a fantasy of my Happily Ever After.

Then that moment where I felt like his True Colours were showing when in actuality, most of the time, those colours were already there, they were just masked in the costume I'd put on him so that he could adequately play the role in my play.

Man I am with I met 17 years ago at a bar. Quiet gentle man completely unlike all the men I had dated for the most part. We became friends.We did not date. Continued knowing each other, he had different girlfriends over the years, I had different boyfriends.
Then ten years ago we started to get a bit more exclusive. Finally started dating in 2004, married in 2007. That was a LOT of time to know each other, lol. Youd think I would have had lots of time to determine True Colours.

Fact of the matter is, when we started dating in 2004, I still had an idealized sense of who he was. I was wrong.

However it came down to asking myself if I could accept him for who he was right at that moment without any need to Change him. The answer was yes. So---- is that love? I don't know. Often it just feels like living with a good friend I have sex with. I'm sure he feels the same. But there is a concern, caring, desire to watch the other do well in their chosen paths... maybe THAT's love? Or.. don't we want that for anyone we care deeply for... best friend, family. Maybe love is NEVER romantic. Maybe all that romantic stuff is just idealization and lust. (sorry, long ramble)