One of the best things I ever did for myself (accidentally I think :-) was learn to laugh at myself, inside my own head. There are often things I think that I then realize are funny and that extends to when I realize what another person "sees" is not what I mean or looks ridiculous because they don't have enough information (because I usually haven't shared enough of myself) and I laugh at what they're stuck with looking at. I go from thinking things just in my head to saying what I think and explaining, getting it outside of me because I find it so funny and want to share what's funny. Sometimes it seems to be at my "expense" but usually I can tell the difference; they're laughing because the "story"/situation is funny, not in a negative way at me (yes, I too am funny but that's not the same as being laughed "at" because I am a loser which is what we all fear I think :-) Over the years I built up the reputation of being amusing to listen too! I'm a comedienne and other people enjoy being around me because my "bizarre" thinking in entertaining and I love entertaining/making others laugh so sometimes I deliberately ham it up and exaggerate or come to even more bizarre conclusions! I can laugh at myself and, at the same time, get out my puzzled questions/misunderstandings and get someone to "help" me understand what it is I have "wrong." I mishear things a lot and it's second nature to me to say to my husband (whom I can trust), "Oh! I thought you said __________ !" and that gets it outside myself where I can "see" it and look at where my mistake was. He does the same for when I say something that doesn't make sense to him. His reactions to me serve as a good mirror for me so when I'm with others I know what to be careful of and if I make a mistake I know how to work with it and solve whatever problem I may have caused in the other person not understanding or thinking well of me. I slow down or think before I speak and get what I want to say organized (always a good idea but not one I follow well yet) and I just get more practice. I started doing the same at work with my coworker friends and "playing" with them/listening to their comments about me, etc. Gradually I've been able to expand my world beyond its more narrow focus of how "wrong"/"bad" my idiot stepmother thought I was. Friends love and enjoy me and that's what I didn't have before, that knowledge (I've never had many friends but even with the friends I had, I never understood "why" my friends liked me or were friends, didn't understand what it meant and how to use and enjoy a friend to help myself). Having a cohort around me like that helps when I "go out" into the larger world with my other interactions.