I completely understand you. I have been there. I know it well. If you ever feel like chatting to someone please pm me. I'm new here but I definetly would like a new online friend. Especially one who has been where I have been. I can already tell you, you are definetly not useless. You don't need to "disappear". So what if you can't keep a secret, it's completely human.

If you want to pm me and tell me what's going on and just get it out, I'll listen, AND I wont judge you. I highly doubt you're being selfish. Sometimes it's just easier to think that you're being selfish but really you're being human and everyone is entitled to do what they gotta do.

Take care!