((Jane)),

When you get "numb" like this, all it means is you don't know how to "self care" YET.
Your question was about "you pleasing someone else" and take that out of the equation and you feel lost right? Well, that is "what you know" right now, pleasing others, well, it's time to learn how to "please yourself" and that is "not about your ability to please others equating to your worth".

You are not the only one that "struggles with this either", just spend time in the Relationship Forum, it's often the same ongoing question/challenge, only the wording changes around a bit, but it almost always boils down to the same overall challenge. Often there are challenges that come from making the decision to "give in and do for the other person" like you are describing now, only it's further down the road where that effort "still isn't enough".

OE