Quote:
Originally Posted by bmandelbrot
Im on all the bipolar meds but still have depressive and slight manic episodes. Im stable for some time and feel great then suddenly feel really low and feel like drinking to get out of that state if only for a moment. On the other hand the euphoric mood is equally as bad. These are by no means as bad as when I was not taking any meds. I thought that with meds and therapy all the symptoms would go away. But it seems its going to be a lifelong fight. Which worries me. Its frustrating.
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I completely relate to your post. I struggled for many years with meds, therapy, etc and I would get better at times, but I continued to use alcohol to manage my moods when I didn't feel like the meds were doing their job.
When I was hypo or manic I drank to have fun or to take the edge off. When I was depressed I drank to make the day not feel so long. Then there was the binge drinking and the consequences of that.
Finally I made it into recovery and I got sober. I really believed if I quit drinking and took my meds exactly as prescribed that I would never fall into a major depression again.....and I was wrong.
My life is better now that I don't drink....but I still have BP and I still have my ups and downs. It is much better, but it is still there.
I try to practice gratitude every day remembering how much better my life is today than when I was first diagnosed. Reading this forum also keeps me in gratitude.
Hang in there.