PAYNE, please don't feel bad! Just someone trying to help means a lot. My intent was not to demean anyone or their advice here, just to open up about the helplessness I feel even though I really reach out to others.

Echoes, I try, but I often feel that people look at things from a view that fits the most people instead of what fits my situation. This happens a lot with romance. People will say "you need to find some one else" and when I say there is no one, no one can help. When I say that I'm not getting what I need from people around me they'll give me suggestions of everything that I already do (I know that there is no way for them to know that), but when I state that I am currently employing these tactics, they don't know what to say. It isn't anyone's fault, but it makes me feel alone and different. I don't want to feel different. I even get to the point where I ask people how do I just swallow a bitter fate and give up hope on happiness in the near future and everyone tells me not to but offers me no insight to get there. I feel like I'm in the woods with no compass.

I do appreciate people trying to help. I didn't mean for this to be demeaning towards anyone on here at all. I get frustrated IRL because I feel that I always have helpful insight to give people and no one can return it. But I also know that its not fair for me to demand people act in any way that isn't them.

My T has def helped me in giving friendships a chance and not ruling people out right away. We're currently working on B and W thinking. She says I'll be happier when I get to grad school since I'll be around more mature people. I just don't know what to do until then