So I finally gave it up about 6 months ago, and it's been so hard. I have tried several times in the b=past- besides the psychological addiction, it was very hard to give up because I had been using for a little over ten years and it had become so much a part of my identity. But I had started to develop a smokers cough, and my throat hurt- My grandma died of breast cancer, so I knew I needed to take better care of myself.
Plus it had stopped being fun, I smoked alone, as I didn't want anyone to know I smoked because I had told most people I had indeed quit years ago- and so it became a very paranoid and isolating endeavor. But now I'm adjusting to being regular old me. Which is hard, because smoking weed made me more outgoing, even if I didn't smoke everyday, the aftereffects lasted for a few days- now I'm readjusting and getting used to just me and being comfortable in my own skin again. I feel like I'm in high school all over again. lol. I'm more of an introvert - an ISFP so my current job is emotionally exhausting. Note: I've been looking for another job for two years now . . .
I wish I could be the witty person I once was. I still am, but in smaller doses. I've had to just give up all the extra frivolous acquaintance relationships I had because I couldn't keep it up, I'm learning that I'm really a low energy person.
Sure, I can be intense and fun to hang out with, but I need a lot of down time to recharge. I wish I could just crawl under a rock some days.