Sorry for mistakes. English is not my native language.I'm here cause I feel desperate and dipressed. I'm married with 2 children and in love with another guy.I think he suffers from mental issues because of his unstable and 'different" behaviour ("macho" in social environtment, childlike in intimate moments) and also some things he mentioned in the past. Firstly,when we were just friends (for 2 years) and during the initial period of our relationship he was intimate and romantic, though in a strange way. I've noticed he struggled expressing his feelings, especially the intimate ones and was affraid of being touched (neck shoulder area). During our first 3 dates we had to face a problem (erectile issues) but I was soo in love with him, patient and caring. Two days after (he was drunk) he told me he wanted to make love with me, not just one night stand and that he was not going to tell these words anymore. We finally managed it.... Unfortunateley, my husband was informed about my relationship and reacted very abusive toward me and him (he isn't abusive generally). I seperated from my love for one month, but he then came and asked to exchange SMS. It was a new start. We made love once a month, though I asked more frequently. He told me that I was the only person who let touch his neck, that he was crazy for me but he doesn't know what love is and love makes him anxious.Only twice ( he was drunk!) expressed love feelings by singing me how mouch he loves me and that is his first time to be in love. I think he was jealous of me because of his subtle reactions when i talked with other men.He refered also that a friend of him, doctor (neurologist) gave him a diagnosis: emotional deficit or instability or something( I can't remember), low self esteem and regression. I've noticed that he suffers from haedaches, muscle tension, stiffness, smelling issues and once something like echolalia. After each date he started to withdraw for a period and send messages to express he is afraid of me being abused by my husband. He used to write impressions about our sex moments and asked details for our future ones. And then ...vicious circle. Till he left me in a cold, almost abusive way. I'm so in love but confused about his true feelings. Asperger, BPD, trauma??