Sorry Johnny you went through tough times too.

I really relate....weight was not my only measure of 'not being good enough'. I did not play sports (well I did, a few...but for fun, not competitively) well enough, I spoke too much, I was either too intelligent or too 'wordy' , too something or not enough soemthing else. I too crashed and burned in my first year at university....you see I wasn't good enough for my parents to pay for it (although they did my brothers before me and sister after), so I had 2 or 3 jobs trying to pay for it that I never attended enough classes.

I think we could go on and on with the hows, you are right.......I am still discovering them. The whys are what keep me awake and make me struggle. That and those small t traumas, and then the big ones that I cant yet face. Also the how to get over it, past it and have a worthwhile, content life.

I am frustrated and sad that what happened in my childhood has been played out time and again into adulthood.......I hope for change and to be the best me I can be.