SJW
I totally u deerstand what you're saying! I can totally get where you're coming from. I sometimes asked myself how much damage in my doing my own kids. What a horrible parent I am. I can say is that we are trying. We know that we have problems and that were trying to work on them. I think that does help I can understand being totally off the grid way comes to parenting. There's so many things in ur thread that I can understand. For me it makes me very SU. And the whole guilt that goes with that it's just horrible feeling.
I don't have any advice for you but I can say that I admire you posting about it. there are other people like me out there that feel the way that you do and you're not alone.